Had a great chat with James tonight at the Sun Shoppe. We spoke about issues in our lives and the spiritual discipline of silence. So here I was, arriving to a park, darkness surrounding me, clouds swiftly moving like a speedtrain. Trying to quiet and still my extroverted and busy-bodied self. It was extremely uncomfortable; silence and solitude bringing to the surface inner conflicts, distress, and longings. However that’s a clear sign that there is much fruit for me to gain in this silence.
Sure of myself that a solid thirty minutes had passed by, I took a peek at my phone. After realizing eleven minutes had passed, I chuckled—silently of course, and stood on a walking bridge for a little watching the water.
I can relate to the words of Henri Nouwen:
“In solitude I get rid of my scaffolding: no friends to talk with, no telephone calls to make, no meetings to attend, no music to entertain, no books to distract, just me – naked, vulnerable, weak, sinful, deprived, broken – nothing. It is this nothingness that I have to face in my solitude, a nothingness so dreadful that everything in me wants to run to my friends, my work, and my distractions so that I can forget my nothingness and make myself believe that I am worth something. But that is not all. As soon as I decide to stay in my solitude, confusing ideas, disturbing images, wild fantasies, and weird associations jump about in my mind like monkeys in a banana tree. Anger and greed begin to show their ugly faces. I give long, hostile speeches to my enemies and dream lustful dreams in which I am wealthy, influential, and very attractive – or poor, ugly, and in need of immediate consolation. Thus I try again to run from the dark abyss of my nothingness and restore my false self in all its vainglory…
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quitecamille said:
NOUWENNNNNNNNNN
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mikeclevenger posted this
